Emotional Rollercoaster

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and then

http://www.pown.it/4861/9014689


all in a couple o hours

Lies

She struck a nerve, one of my sensitive ones,
A part of my history of lying as a child and a patch of bad communication made her say that she would not date me anymore untill she could trust me, not that we could not be friends.

Atleast she meant it, but I in spite of staying, was tensed up the rest of the evening.
When I got home and could relax I cried, Singing mournfull kanon with a siong I really like I could finally relax enought to cry out loudly.

Once again I stumble because of my own history, me, being slightly unfitting for the reality I inhabit.

Tomorrow is a new day, and a new chance,
I hope that I will have the elbowgrease and patience to make this work.


Nothing much has happened but something big has happened

All that you are

hum, måste bara shara denna grymma video

Loud tears

Allowed myself to cry loudly the other night, during a patch of extra sensitive personal development. Digging into why I am so sad, sad that I am not enough. Sad that I cannot find a place where I fit in.. Sad that I think my father was right,, I am just a weight, not contributing to the world i plauge with my presence..

A small step for man,


Hopefully this will ease my emmediate pains